The really solid thing that this essay does is offer a lot of sentence variety. That i said you could use to kind of chart your sentence variety, what I’ve done in the bonus materials for this essay is chart the sentence variety of one of the body paragraphs if you remember back to the bonus materials, there’s a sentence variety chart that I gave you. And you may see by taking a look at the numerous kinds and the different lengths of sentences that this really has a great flow, there are many variety there. Additionally this essay uses an advance vocabulary but it’s not only advanced, it really is used appropriately. So here the example is, ‘Free tutoring does not aim at the heart associated with problems facing schools; a wider number of classes does by livening fascination with school up until graduation.’ Therefore we’ve just seen an advance sentence structure and an advance utilization of vocabulary very good language that is commendable. These are all the causes why this essay earned an 11 which is for which you wish to be, ideally scoring ten to 12 in the ACT writing.
Now let us have a look at sample essay number two.
Go right ahead and go to the bonus materials and print it out. Again I’m going to begin with reading the very first paragraph but it surely is supposed to be important so that you can have a hard copy on front of you to follow along. Alright, this one starts with ‘a problem that is major many high schools face is students neglecting to graduate, or dropping out before they have the opportunity. High schools over the nation have attempted countless programs that are different processes to you will need to combat student’s failure, some proving more productive than others. A aspire to learn and stay in school, something which not merely getting help may do. in my opinion, offering a wider variety of class options would do a better job of promoting success than merely offering free tutoring because ‘interest’ promotes’ which means this one starts out quite similar to essay number 1 however if you noticed that one only scored a seven. So it is still within the top half but a far cry from the 11 that the first essay scored. Here we have again an extremely strong position and knowledge of the duty. This writer says ‘offering a wider number of class options would do a better job of promoting student success and merely offering tutoring that is free the interest promotes the need to learn and stay in school.’ So we’ve got a posture, we’ve got reason, in addition we have the introduction of a counter argument. You could already infer even they would have scored much higher on the essay if you haven’t read the essay from this that this writer must not do a good job of incorporating and powering up on that counter argument otherwise. So solid ‘task and position’ let’s see where it falls a bit that is little.
‘Complexity and development’ alright this writer says, ‘my school that is high really many students by providing peer tutors because learning from peers is more appealing than being re-taught by adults. ‘tutoring helps many who can be too frustrated that they can not understand their classes and would like to drop out.’ Now first thing I notice when I read this may be the wording is a bit confusing here and I also’m not really sure what this is certainly supposing because, honestly it’s making tutoring sound like an extremely good thing. The position statement told me that this essay was going to be arguing for a wider variety of classes. Which means this may be an attempted counter argument, but where it falls short is it does not completely dismiss the counter claim, it leaves your reader wondering but what is this person proving. To make certain that’s the place that is first falls short in complexity and development. The essay also says, ‘Offering many courses helps to ensure that students will still learn, yet have a blast and start to become less stressed.’ Now this can be within the body that is second and this is the very first time that the writer has introduced this concept of ‘having fun and becoming less stressed’ and it’s really really unclear where that links into the position that ‘a wider variety of classes is way better for learning.’ So that it seems style of unfocused once we’re speaking about development and keeping it focused and supportive.
Finally in organization this essay is organized simply but effectively it is type of predictable but that’s why it scores a seven rather than very up at the top of the scale which is during the 11. This essay says ‘In addition to more classes, having parents and teachers who worry about students’ success, offering extra-curricular programs to increase an active reference to the college, having assemblies and events to advertise school spirit and several other factors are typical essential in promoting success.’ Now they are really great ideas and definitely on topic, but one might be prepared to see these ideas introduced in the introduction and then followed up on within the essay. However once you know where this paragraph comes from could be the conclusion and that’s among the big no, no’s for the organization that is basic. That you do not introduce ideas that are new the final outcome because all it will is serve to confuse the reader. They aren’t anything that you’ve mentioned and none of one’s support relates to it. Which means this is just why this essay’s score is a little bit lower in organization.
‘Sentence structure and grammar.’ Alright this essay says, ‘Something that not help that is merely getting do.’ This might be among the lines that really stuck out to me in fact it is the main position statement that is one of those sentences that readers are really focused in on, if you’re given your thesis or your role, they need that it is clear. And also this wording is really kind of confusing, I’m not sure what things are talking about, what the something is and it is just a bit that is little. So again we’ve got types of this awkward utilization of language which keeps this essay down in that range that is mid than shooting it as much as the higher range that displays a command of this language.
Alright the couple of pitfalls that this essay run into that we curently have talked about and also you want to ensure you avoid. This essay makes ‘hasty generalizations’ the relative line, ‘only students with a desire to enhance will benefit from such a program.’ Which is a big jump. To make certain that’s saying basically if they don’t whole heartedly want to be there they’re going to flat out fail if I give tutoring to everybody. And I also genuinely believe essay help that’s a really big leap in flaw and logic. It gets a bit that is little, ‘The most important, though, is a student’s desire to learn and also to succeed;’ it just goes on and on about this. And lastly we talked relating to this ‘basic organization’ not only do we now have style of candid transitions like ‘in addition’ to and ‘furthermore’ but we talked in regards to the introduction of new ideas when you look at the conclusion which really throws the reader for a whip. So coming back to wrap all of it within the seven indicators that your readers will probably be searching for is your ‘understanding of the task,’ the ‘position’ you take, the ‘complexity’ with which you discuss the issue, the ‘development’ or support you provide, the way you organized your thinking after which the way you deliver it with your ‘sentence and word choice’ as well as your ‘grammar.’
In this episode we have taken a look at two essays, both were solid they scored into the half that is top clearly we see why essay one scored an 11 while essay two scored a seven.
So now you need to attack the ACT writing section, I know you’re going to do great that you guys have the tools and the information.